Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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