what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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