Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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can you pass the soap?

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops