Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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