What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops