How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

jibby jobby

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

Emily Walker.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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