Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -5

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops