Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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._____________________. Whale!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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