There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops