Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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How about that airline food?

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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this website even though its hilarious.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops