What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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A storm be brewin!

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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