P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops