Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why do asprins work? Because they're white

thumb_up thumb_down -12

CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

penis. nuff said.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops