Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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9/11.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops