when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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