roses are red violets are indigo

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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