Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops