A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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I had a submarine.... once

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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