A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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