Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops