Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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SUCK MY NUTS

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the lemon was sweet.

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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