Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops