Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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