What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Once upon a time

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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kennah campion... being nice

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Black People

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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