Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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