A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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