Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This sentence is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops