A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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