two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Poker face

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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