what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Women's rights

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops