What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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25

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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An Artic Storm.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Eric is gay Ha

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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