There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What's 2+2? Fish

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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