Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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Well this is pointless.....

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops