Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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