Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

bologna

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops