Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

thumb_up thumb_down +12

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops