I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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mexicans fishing

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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