How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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