what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Lewis

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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VITAMIN C!

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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