nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Your life

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Turkeys are obese

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(Insert joke here)

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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