Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Dislike this.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops