Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Your mums a potato

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Guest what? Dog

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops