A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Women's Rights Movement

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops