What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops