Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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