3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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