How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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