why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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