what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops