If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

knock knock

How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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