Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops