What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

How many fingers am i holding up? 4

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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